it changes overnight.

You know how life can be.
It changes overnight,
Its sunny then raining, but its alright.
A friend like you
Always makes it easy,
I know that you get me every time.

Through every up through every down
You know I'll always be around,
Through everything you can count on me.

All I wanna do is be with you, be with you.
There's nothing we can't do
Just wanna be with you, only you.
No matter where life takes us,
Nothing can break us apart,
I just wanna be with you.

Life can change overnight.

Things are going to be different.

Things are going to be better.

Someone finally cares about me.

there's no point trying to change it.

When your mind's made up,
When your mind's made up,
There's no point trying to change it.

In general, I hate the world and most of the things in it.
I hate the way the things and people in the world make me feel.
Because I know that no matter what I say or do, I can't change anything, I can't change anyone.

People set out to try and change things, to change the world.
It's all a joke.
You can change little tiny aspects of the world, but ultimately, the world will go back to functioning the way it did before you came along to disrupt it.

What I've learned so far in life is that you can try as hard as you want to change something, and you may want to change it so bad, but in the end, it's not up to you. You can even fool yourself to think that things have changed, just long enough to keep you sane. I think that's what almost everyone does, but they just don't realize it.

Just something to ponder about.

mixed tape.

This is morning,
That's when I spend the most time
Thinking 'bout what I've given up.
This is a warning,
When you start the day just to close the curtains,
You're thinking 'bout what I've given up.

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo,
I'm writing you a symphony of sound.
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again,
This mix could burn a hole in anyone,
But it was you I was thinking of.

I read your letter,
The one you left when you broke into my house.
Retracing every step you made,
And you said you meant it.
And there's a piece of me in every single
Second of every single day,
But if it's true then tell me how it got this way.

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo,
I'm writing you a symphony of sound.
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again,
This mix could burn a hole in anyone,
But it was you I was thinking of.

And I can't get to you,
I can't get to you,
I can't get to you.

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo,
I conduct a symphony of sound.
Where are you now?
As I'm cutting through you track by track,
I swear to God, this mix could sink the sun,
But it was you I was thinking of.

And where are you now?
And where are you now?

And this is my mixed tape for her.
It's like I wrote every note,
With my own fingers

This is my mix tape for him.

Mixed Tape - by Jack's Mannequin


You Raise Me Up - by Josh Groban


You Make Me Feel So Young - by Frank Sinatra


Realize - by Colbie Caillat


The One - by Vanessa Carlton


Make-up Smeared Eyes - Juliet Simms


Everything You Ever Wanted - by Hawk Nelson


And I Am Telling I'm Not Going - by Jennifer Hudson


When Your Mind's Made Up - by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova


A Day Late - by Anberlin


Whenever You Remember - by Carrie Underwood


Mutiny Below - by Ludo


Here We Go Again - by Paramore


Say It To Me Now - by Glen Hansard


'Til I Get Over You - by Michelle Branch


The Hill - by Marketa Irglova


Because of You - by Kelly Clarkson


My Happy Ending - by Avril Lavigne


Wishes - by Superchick


Decode (Acoustic - Paramore Cover) - by Anna P
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7201951

here we go again.

Here we go again, with all the things we said
And not a minute spent to think that we'd regret,
So we just take it back, these words, and hold our breath,
Forget the things we swore we meant.
...
Here we go again, with all the things we did,
And now I'm wondering, just who would I have been
To be the one attached at all times to your hip?
Forget the things we swore we meant.

Here we go again.

Another period of time where we'll avoid each other (well, he'll avoid me) in order to avoid something awkward. Another period of time where I won't be able to go to him for comfort with troubles I'm having, because he's the cause of all my troubles. Another period of time where we're not close.

That's what it seems like.

I want to say that this time things will be different. And maybe they will. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure I don't screw this up. I value him too much to just let this all go down the crapper. I can't let us drift apart. I can't. I won't.

God, give me strength and courage and wisdom to go about this in the best way possible. And I pray that the result will make me happy.

I can't live without knowing he's there for me. Whether it's as a best friend or something more, I don't care.

I feel cold and tearful.
I'm shivering and tears are running down my face.
When will this end?
It seems like the past few months didn't change me at all.

longing for a new year.

Wait, how long will you wait here?
Your life longs for a new year,
Your healing must begin somewhere.

January 1st, 2009, and I already have one resolution done. We'll see how it goes.

1) Focus enough on school to get at least B-'s in everything, so my parents don't disown me.
2) Start caring about my future more.
3) Either let go and forget once and for all, or just say it.

I'm always saying how I'm scared to grow up and stuff. I don't want to leave my friends and go to college. But then again, I am so sick of living at home. I'm about ready to kill. I know no one really cares, so what's the point of sticking around?