I'm tired of the fight.

I'm tired,
I'm tired of the fight,
I'm tired of the lonely days
And the dark, endless nights.

I'm tired of everything.
It's like...why even get up out of bed in the morning?

I'm exhausted with so many things in every aspect of my life.
I thought I found relief...but it's like when you take medicine, it takes awhile before it kicks in.
That's my situation.
I have to wait awhile before it kicks in.

But maybe it never will.
Maybe I'm immune to it.
Maybe it'll never happen.

I'm just so tired of being alone.
I'm tired of being the butt of all the jokes.
I'm tired of not being able to move on.

I wrote something yesterday that was insightful.

I'm stuck in between two walls,
the space is very narrow,
and it's hard to breathe.

I don't know where to go...
I can search for a way out, a door, on either of the walls,
it seems like those are my only options.

But what if I keep walking forward through the narrow space?
Will I find something else?
Will I break free?

In this case, the two walls represent two people...I want to get away from the one wall by running to the other, but it's impossible to move right now. I'm stuck. But I started to think...what if I just left both walls behind and kept walking forward in the space? Would I find something else...a way out of this whole mess? I don't know, but I need to find out what things are like on the other side of the other wall first. And I won't know for awhile, if ever.

In other news, Wall-e got best animated film at the Academy Awards on Sunday night, which is all that matters in life. \m/ rock on.