I search for the resolution.

I'm alive,
And I don't need a witness
To know that I survived.
I'm not looking for forgiveness,
I just need light,
I need light in the dark as I search for the resolution,
I need light in the dark as I search for the resolution.

Christmas came and went with a snap of my fingers. I didn't feel in the spirit at all. I was more in the spirit back in September than I was on Christmas Day.

So here I am, Monday, December 29th 2008. I am 17 years and 352 days old. I'm sitting in the same Pokemon sweatshirt and maroon sweatpants that I've worn as pajamas for the entire Christmas break. I don't think life is all it's cracked up to be.

In three days, it will be 2009. I wouldn't care another passing of a year if 2008 hadn't been the best and worst year of my life. And I wouldn't care about 2009 if it wasn't my graduating year.

So in order to put some order back into my life, I guess I should do something cliche like this:

New Year's Resolutions

1) Focus enough on school to get at least B-'s in everything, so my parents don't disown me.
2) Start caring about my future more.
3) Either let go and forget once and for all, or just say it.

As I was quoted in the school newspaper, "I make New Year's resolutions sometimes, but I either end up forgetting them or not following them."

So who really cares?

I don't.

Life is life, and I really don't see any resolution for it right now.

we've tried so hard to understand.

We've tried so hard to understand,
But we can't.
We held the world out in our hands,
And you ran
Away.

Looking over my last post, I think I should clarify something.

There is a huge difference between "complicated" and "hard". Life may not be complicated, but that certainly doesn't mean it isn't hard. The only thing I can compare it to is a sport like volleyball or something. The concept isn't complicated: hit the ball in the air over the net with your hands/fists, but actually playing the sport is a whole different story. It's generally a hard sport to play, but simple to understand.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is hard for me right now.

But I got accepted to Purdue.